such sweet sin
by valkyras
Summary: She is sweet alright, but no longer daddy's little princess, nor a princess at all. Seth forgets this sometimes but she keenly reminds him, and often too. One of his favorite things is Katie-cakes with her gun and that wild adrenaline-rush grin that seems to make his heart stop and head spin.


On top of the roof rests the largest cross Seth has ever seen, and all he can think is that he wants to turn the fuck around. There is literally no reason for him to enter, and there is no reason for him to stay, except there is Kate's hand around his, and her gently, but firmly, pulling him along as if his soul depends on it. (Honestly, it probably does, but shit, he is far beyond saving.) There is no reason for him to enter, except for the five foot three girl who looks like an angel and shoots like the devil and who refuses to let go of his hand. Ah, the preacher's little daughter - on her way back to church with a hardened criminal on a tow.

The cross looks too heavy, too big, way too large for gravity, and he wonders if he tries to enter - will it crush him? Literally fall down and crush him, with all its power and might? As if it is God's own plan to keep intruders out of churches, and old men from young girls. He would welcome it, he thinks, not sure about anything, but very aware of the warmth of her palm against his. It is almost disappointing when they make it up the wide staircase without as much as a scratch, and he wonders if it is true that God doesn't make mistakes.

But oh, he is inside now and he has never felt more out of place. He looks to his side and sees the daughter of a former preacher but can't really see how she fits into this picture either. She is sweet alright, but no longer daddy's little princess, nor a princess at all. Seth forgets this sometimes but she keenly reminds him, and often too. One of his favorite things is Katie-cakes with her gun and that wild adrenaline-rush grin that seems to make his heart stop and head spin.

She tugs at his arm as she moves to sit down far in the back, and even harder when he does not obey right away. The look of annoyance he sends her is the same one he gets in return and as the Mass starts he wishes once again for the cross to crush him under all its weight. A part of him thinks he is being dramatic, but the other takes one more look at the girl at his side and he knows he deserves it. (Remember! Only pure thoughts in church!)

Katie's lips move with her translation, trying to make God's word available for monolingual fuckers like himself, but all this gets them is Seth closely watching her mouth and Kate growing more flustered by the minute. Even when she closes her eyes to pray, his gaze rests on her face and he knows that she knows but is grateful (or annoyed) she ignores it.

Seth has never dealt well with the quiet, and now there is no sound at all except Katie Kate's light breathing at his side. He puts a hand on her thigh because the silence is unbearable, and to his great pleasure, she lets out the smallest of gasps. There is nothing but darkness in her eyes now, but Seth just sends her a hint of a smile, and she puts a hand against the base of her throat like she used to do oh, so often, but now lately, does so much less. She looks away and plays with the cross around her neck as if that is the only thing keeping her pure. (But that she is not, not really, and they both know it but Seth wants her to find comfort where comfort can be found.

Which is also why she can be considered impure to begin with, but he is sure she knows that too.)

Parts of him want to be able to believe in a higher power, but the closest Seth has been to finding religion was when sweet Kate let him put his mouth against her neck - rough lips against soft skin. His tongue tracing the outline of that goddamn necklace, and her hands quivering in his hair. After, she had put the cross on the nightstand and let him press against her, but not look at her.

Oh, God, what a sick man he is. Dirty, and old, and sick. Sick, sick, sick. And God, what perfection he has corrupted, so carelessly and effortlessly, but fuck, how he wants to keep on going like he is doing no wrong - the sickest of them all.

And the worst thing is that Kate, his sweetest Kate, had let him, had wanted him, had needed him even. He is sure he will be welcomed at the gates of hell, greeted by the devil himself only to be shipped straight into that extra hot burning hell that are for the extra bad, terrible people.

Her hand finds his and she squeezes lightly and God, forgive me Father for I have sinned! Katie looks at him, and he melts and there is nothing he can do about it. Except maybe follow her out and hope the cross doesn't crush him so he can continue to sin with this goddamn angel of a dead preacher's daughter.


End file.
